Cancer.

There is nothing in the pit of my stomach.
There is nothing pulsing in my chest.
My head hurts from all the screaming.
I'd say you were the best one yet.
You got me right where you want me.
And I'm clawing at the surface.
I can't breathe underneath this pressure.
What did I do to deserve this?
I would reach in and pull it out if I could.
I would tear it all apart.
Because of this my best friend is gone.
And I don't have a heart.

Sincerest Goodbye.

Pain killers never really kill the pain.
And your voice is driving me insane.
I see your body through the trees.
And your face is fucking killing me.
I always run away, but never fast enough.
Gouge my eyes;;Spill my guts.
Put the pistol to my skull.
But the trigger, you'll never pull.
My eyes shut tight.
I'm waiting. WAITING.
Open just one.
You're shaking. SHAKING.
Grab the barrel && pull it closer.
Crack a smile.
Steady.
Focus.
Click.
Clang.
Silence.
BANG.
The shot did miss, but hit my heart.
Good thing you already tore it apart.
Because this would hurt so fucking bad.
Stop pretending to be so sad.
I'm happy now.
You did the deed.
I was suffering, sick.
And you were killing me.
Your favorite joke.
My favorite lie.
Your last hello.
My sincerest goodbye.

3/14/07.

Greater Than 3.

----

And you call yourself a heart.

All you ever did was break.

I don't have enough strength to stitch you back up this time.

So I'm just going to throw you away.

You're a piece of shit.

I can't use you anyway...

My Head Will Explode On Impact.

Fuck time && everything that comes along with it.

It doesn't make me feel any better;;maybe worse.

I'm burning your letters.

JUST FUCKING DO IT!!

Just pull the trigger;;Take the gun && SHOOT IT.

My heart or my head, I don't care which.

Hurry do it or you're a bitch.

And don't close your eyes.

Watch the bullet the whole time.

And when you rip out my heart, you better run for your fucking life.

Because I will find you.

I'm not going to make it && you're the cause.

Flip the switch so they can applaude.

You've got me right where you want me.

And I deserve every second of this.

I never thought you'd ever mean this much to me.

But now you mean EVERYTHING.

And I need you more than life itself.

SO PLEASE, RIP THE KNIFE FROM MY DEAD FINGERS!!

The Knife.

The knife that always befriended me is sitting on the sink.

The sun is glinting off of it && it's getting hard to think.

The knife I hate so much, does not deserve a glance.

And as I get off the floor, I know I don't stand a chance.

2/26/07.

The Calling

--------------

Out of site, out of mind, right?

I'm about to pull an out of body.

How does that sound for a road trip?

And so whatever I do means nothing.

I could die && that's the only way to get 5 minutes of fame.

Don't let me get that far.

Promise to catch me before I fall too deep in this hole you've dug for me.

I tripped.

I fell;;Knocked myself unoncious on the tombstone you had engraved for me.

I seem to be running, but I'm making no progress in getting the FUCK away from you.

I'd say sorry, but I already cut my tongue out so I couldn't give you the pleasure.

6/24/07.

Better Looking Brand

--------------------------

So you traded me in for a better looking brand.

One without psychotic abilities.

One that won't love you unconditionally.

And I'm left with nothing.

I should've seen this coming summers ago.

But you never gave me the chance.

In fact, you weren't even thinking of giving me one.

And I hope some sort of motorized vehicle hits your body && your remains paint the pavement.

And you can sit there && love her, but I'll always pretend.

You broke my heart;;It didn't bend.

And just so you know, this wound won't ever mend.

And now I'm bleeding from every romantic pore on my body.

And I'm screaming out your name, but things won't change, but they'll never be the same.

And the hatred will remain && it will grow.

But you'll never know.

Maybe sometime we could fix this && feel okay.

I'll be dead before that day, I promise.

Because you have dug me the shallowest grave possible.

The dirt doesn't even cover my face.

But you left me here to rot on purpose.

Fuck you, bitch.

You don't deserve breath.